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Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Yikes

 Well, I'm back in town. In fact, I've been back in town for four weeks now. This has not been an easy blog post to write. Nor is it the blog post that I expected that I would be writing when I got back. I'll explain why, but along the way I'll need to confess something. And I should make it abundantly clear, if it's not clear already, that this isn't going to be a typical, cheerful update. No sexy outtakes or hot BTS footage here. This one's a bit of a downer. In fact, it's kind of uncomfortably personal. You might want to skip it.


So I woke up the day after I got home, ready to roll up my sleeves and get to work, tackling the backlog of emails and blog comments that had accumulated while I was away. I sent a few quick email replies before turning my attention to the blog. The first comment that I saw mentioned that a player I'd had a back in 2009 named Erin was a model who went by the full stage name Erin Taylor. That's true, but I thought I remembered mentioning that before, so I did a search of the blog for that name, expected to find my earlier mention. It turned out that I was wrong and I hadn't disclose her name on the blog before, but somebody else had, and what I found horrified me. And here's where the confession comes in.


I've said before that I'm sick and getting sicker. I think I called it a "neurodegenerative disorder" but there isn't much point in being coy; it's multiple sclerosis. What I haven't said before is that this illness is comorbid with certain mental disorders which have significantly impacted my capabilities. Now, back in the 1900s when I was growing up, this would've been a pretty shameful admission due to the tremendous stigma attached to mental illness, but they say things are different now. Anyway, my particular crazy can make me feel extremely strong aversion to things that make me uncomfortable, to the point where it causes physical nausea to focus on them and the temptation to focus on literally anything else is overwhelming. Worse, trying to get back to something I've been avoiding because it makes me uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable, leading to self-perpetuating cycles. Often the only way I can break the cycles is to just wipe the slate clean and move on.


Again, when I was a kid, this would merely have been considered a massive character flaw, but if I can absolving myself of moral culpability for my shortcomings by blaming them on mental illness, then by God I will. This particular massive character flaw has cost me very dearly over the years.


The point of telling you all this is to explain that when I went looking for the name Erin Taylor on this blog, I found a blog comments that I had never seen before because it had been posted during a period when I was "frozen." And again, when I saw horrified me. People were talking about the real names of several of my players, including many who were amateurs, not professional models.


---


Fuck. Everything above the line was written literally two weeks ago, then I got frozen again. Still kind of am, so I'm just going to post this as is and try to get back to it later. The short of it is that I'm really bummed that a bunch of my players got doxxed.


20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thats awful. Please know that some of us (your blog readers) are in full agreement with you on this, would never contribute to doxxing a model, and feel terrible for the victims. But its not your fault.

Askgulky

RS said...

Oh no, that's horrible. I'm so sorry to hear that happened to your players, and I hope they're okay. I don't know much about how Blogger works but I'm sure we'd all be fine if you deleted the comments in older posts. And I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I was under the impression that you were suffering from a vision problem -- I assumed it was something like retina pigmentosa. Wishing you the very best.

Anonymous said...

Oh shit, that's awful. Hopefully that info didn't make it further than the blog comments. It's possible they weren't seen by too many.

- VapidLipid

Viredae said...

That's very unfortunate man, I haven't had the displeasure of seeing these posts myself, thankfully, but I at least hope that whatever info was in there was not correct or recent for the sake of the girls.

Unknown said...

Godspeed

Anonymous said...

Very sad 2 hear. Best wishes to you and your players
Have a good end of year holidayz

Robbo

Anonymous said...

That really sucks, but it doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Some people are just absolute scum when it comes to this.

dday66 said...

Merry Xmas to Red and all the team and also to all of the girls who participated in Lostbets

Anonymous said...

Since so many are interested in extra lostbetsgames material, I don't suppose you would be willing to add a page to your main site that is simply a list of your models who have onlyfans sites (and who are willing to share this info)?

Unknown said...

HAPPY NEW YEARS LOSTBETS FANS AN STARS ALIKE ..ESPECIALLY RED FOR ALL HE EVER DID

pinzar

dday66 said...

Red I hope that you are OK. If I could ask a further question about Cora and her first approach you made reference to an advert and I was wondering if you could disclose what the advert said, Cheers

Anonymous said...

Terrible information on two levels.

Best wishes to you. Not sure what to say about the turd posters.

Anonymous said...

Red,

I know someone who suffers from MS. You have no reason to be ashamed or to feel like you have some blame - the simple fact that you're talking about your challenges should be an inspiration to others.

Best wishes to you, and I hope you have more good days than bad...

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there another Fern outtake? You posted a cap of it and said it just needed some editing or something.

- Rufus

Unknown said...

Sadly I think this may finally be the end

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I don't think those Julie outtakes are coming..

Anonymous said...

Personally I was hoping to see one of the treasure and starli videos where they lose free

Anonymous said...

Oh no. It has been very quiet for a long time
--Robbo

Anonymous said...

Do any of the contestants look at the blog entries, if so it would be great to here from them

Anonymous said...

Well since the site is dead, does anyone have any of the videos still locked behind paywalls? I'm keen on the Treasure and Starli videos