I'm out of town for the next few weeks and will have limited conductivity. Will try to check in from time to time, but again, no promises.
Over the years I've said a lot about the players and their backgrounds, and I've tried to be as truthful as I could be. I'm not going to swear that I've never stretched the truth nor even outright lied, but I can't think of a specific instance when I did and it certainly wasn't my practice. I don't like to lie, partly for ethical reasons but mostly because I am terrible at it. (I always forget lies I've told and end up contradicting myself and giving myself away.) And I generally didn't need to, because the truth was plenty awesome enough. Jacqueline really was my next-door neighbor. Lumen, Jelly, and Fern really were the 18-year-old high school classmates of the daughter of a woman I dated. The circus folk from the circus folk episodes were really circus folk. I was proud of these facts and excited to share them. There was no need to embellish.
But this posed a problem when people asked specific questions about specific players whose backgrounds weren't so innocent. What was I supposed to say when somebody asked, "Soandso looks so sweet and shy and innocent. Was she really so embarrassed to strip naked?" Should I have said, "Actually, there's footage elsewhere of Soandso literally fucking a trailer hitch?" Or, "I didn't ask and can't say for certain, but I'm pretty sure that Soandso is a prostitute?"
What I usually did in such cases was either plead ignorance or give an answer that was truthful yet incomplete. I'll give an example, and I'm sorry if this shatters anybody's illusions, but: Sheri and Zahara. Everything I've said about them is true. Tobi really did originally meet them as customers in her bar. And both really had never been naked on video before, or at least so they told me. But they were in Tobi's bar because they had just finished their shifts at the strip club where they both worked. Neither was unaccustomed to exposing her naked charms to strangers for money. And they might even have moonlighted as "escorts", as many strippers do. I didn't ask and they didn't tell, but they were pretty unfazed when I asked them about hardcore forfeits.
Now, should I have said this back then? Should I have said it just now? I don't know, and I'd like your opinions. Again, I'm exceedingly proud of all the true amateurs I was able to recruit, but not every player was a blushing innocent. Should I be fully candid about the ones who were not? I was even reluctant to disclose that I met so many of my players at a convention for kinky people.
Finally, to reward you for reading this far, here's a clip I'm sure many of you will be overjoyed to see:
I had totally forgotten about this footage until I went digging around through the depths of the Shoots folder to see what I could find. I'm aware that I definitely coulda and probably shoulda charged for this. I woulda, but I still feel like I owe some gifts to the fans. If you really feel like you should pay for this, I will cheerfully accept tips via PayPal (or Venmo, or whatever the kids are using these days, I suppose) at firstname.lastname@example.org. But really, unless you plan to throw a big bill in the jar, I'd rather you just paid it forward. Make a waiter's day with an extravagant tip, or something.
But I will probably need money sooner or later. I've been procrastinating on setting up a Patreon, where patrons would get early access to these outtakes and a priority hold of my ear when it comes to which outtakes should be produced next. I should get on that, and I will. But frankly, I'd rather try to squeeze windfalls from a wealthy benefactor or two then try to squeeze a few bucks from thousands. Statistically, some of you are probably very, very comfortable financially. If that's you, and you'd be interested in paying a ridiculous sum to acquire a genuine artifact of lostbets.com history, hit me up at the above email.
(Ugh. I feel dirty.)
Got a few more outtakes for you guys. Hope you like them.
The first one was shot in the dressing room after Episode 446. Catherine regales Lizzie and Tara with the story of the forfeit she was forced to do in Episode 332.
The next clip, a brief one, came right after we stopped filming Episode 180, one of the first POV's I ever shot. Kandie had to masturbate at the end, and before we started filming, she asked me how long she should masturbate for. I told her to just do it until she came. She warned me that she doubted she could actually get turned on and make herself cum doing it for a camera. I told her to just do her best, and if it started going on for too long, I'd interrupt and we'd talk about having her fake it.
It didn't go on for too long.
She had only been at it for a couple of minutes when certain loud slurping sounds, clearly audible from where I stood behind the camera, made it obvious that she could indeed get turned on masturbating for a camera. Not long after that she brought herself to an orgasm so massive that it left her spasming and embarrassed. This clip is just a few seconds of her staggering off afterword, still blushing and glowing.
The last one is a gift for the many, many fans who have asked over many years to see more of Kodak. In Episode 237, she and Cody had to do some naked exercises, including jumping jacks. You could see them in the episode, but we had several cameras running and caught the action from several different angles. And here they all are.
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I've been working on this post on and off for more than a week, and I keep deleting and rewriting, and screw it. I'm just going to go through this once more and then post it. It does get a little rambling and a little weird, but so be it.
By the way, answers to all previous blog post will appear here.
My last post was dedicated to thanking everybody who's paid money for my work. I said at the time that I was deeply grateful to every fan, whether or not they've paid me, and that I'd explain why later. Now is later, and the best explanation can be found, believe it or not, in a song by VeggieTales. If you know what VeggieTales is, stifle your gasps, I can explain. (I did say that this gets weird.) If you're not aware, VeggieTales is a series of animated cartoons for children starting a cast of anthropomorphic vegetables. The makers of the show are evangelical Christians, and the tales usually have a biblical theme and/or moral. (I am not a Christian, but some parts of Christianity really appeal to me, especially the parts about loving thy neighbor, judging not, and doing unto others.) I first became aware of VeggieTales when I spotted the VHS at Blockbuster and figured that an animated children's cartoon about Christian vegetables would be a fine thing to enjoy stoned, and I was right.
The song in question was the climax to a retelling of the parable of the good Samaritan with vegetables, and it included these lyrics:
If you see someone who's hurt or in need,
It's that last line that gets to me and really rings true. Making people feel good feels good, and that's not even limited to only those who are "hurt or in need." I like it when I can help make somebody's day just a little bit better than it otherwise would have been. I especially like thinking that because I've made somebody's day a little better, maybe they'll go on to treat the other people they deal with later in the day a little better than they otherwise might have, and all those people will in turn go on to have marginally better days, and so on.
Imagine that Earth has a global happiness score, consisting of the sum of every human being's individual happiness, quantified somehow. One's net effect on this global score is, I think, a good measure of the value of one's life. It's not the only measure, to be sure, and maybe not the best one, but a good one.
That is why I am so deeply grateful to every single fan of my work. Merely by deriving some quantity of enjoyment from my work, you make my life more worthwhile. Maybe that's a lot of philosophical baggage to put on some dirty movies, but this whole thing started in 2007 when a major life event impelled me to a more philosophical outlook in the first place. And I derive a great deal of personal satisfaction from knowing that I'm contributing to total global happiness.
EDIT: I lied, I'm answering earlier blog comments in the posts in which they were made. If you are waiting on an answer to an earlier comment, look for it there. Just don't add anything new, please