There's no way to avoid it, so I'm just going to come right out and say it: this post contains some bad news. Brace yourselves.
But before getting to that, first some good news to soften the blow: there will be a bonus update, 300b, coming on Tuesday, and I think many people will like it. It's not a game, but it does feature a very popular girl doing some cool stuff. More on that in a bit.
Which brings me to the subject of the March party, source of episodes 278, 279, 285, 290, and 300. Ten crazy people playing five wild games. Who exactly were these people? Who were these wild and crazy kids with their enthusiasm and athleticism? Well, I swear to you, I didn't know. All I knew is that they were Julie's friends, that she'd recruited them. I didn't know from where, or how she knew them. I didn't know who they were when I invited them, I didn't know who they were as the party went on, and I most definitely didn't know who they were when I picked out the music to use for the games of Musical Chairs and Hot Grapefruit. And I didn't figure it out, even when I saw the acrobatic talents, even when I saw the spandex singlets. I didn't figure it out when Johannes, on first hearing the Musical Chairs music, said, "I fucking hate clowns!" I didn't learn the truth until we were all hanging out on the deck after the party, and they told me, whereupon I said "Ohhhhhh," and everything made much more sense. Figured it out yet?
These people are circus folk. Carnies. They're members of a traveling troupe of entertainers, a real no-fooling I-shit-you-not circus. Not that there's anything wrong with that, not at all. On the contrary, they're awesome. Their unique skills and their adventurous, willing-to-try-anything spirits made them among the best players we've ever had here.
But... here comes the sad part.
They're not just Julie's friends. They're her colleagues. Sweet little Julie has run off and joined the circus. For real. That's great for her. She's got a steady job that she loves, which is more than a lot of folks can say these days. But it also means that she's retiring from modeling. I try to never say never, but it's very possible that she's played her very last game for LostBets.com.
Julie's been one of our most popular, most prolific, and all-around best players ever. She's also been a hell of a recruiter, bringing in lots of her beautiful friends to join in the fun. She is unique and irreplaceable. She will be sorely missed. LostBets.com will be a less awesome place without her.
But I'd like to send her off with my heartfelt thanks, and I've got the feeling that a lot of you might like to thank her, too. Which brings me to Episode 300b.
Julie and her colleagues are based in Portland. When I arranged the party, I hired a limousine to bring them up to Seattle for the festivities, but before that day I mailed Julie a camera, with a request to film anything she felt like filming on the way. And like she usually does, she came through for me in a big way.
The morning of the party, while waiting for the limo to show up, she was feeling a little frisky, and decided to masturbate -- with a vibrating dildo -- before showering and leaving. And, bless her, she filmed it all for us.
She meant this to be a present for me and you, but I want to make it a present for her as well. So Episode 300b will publish on Tuesday, and every cent it makes during September will go directly to Julie. I'm not going to keep a single dime. This is meant to be a gratuity, a tip to thank Julie for years of awesome. Give generously.
Goodbye, Julie. We love you.
Edit: Sneak preview.